Reading can open up new worlds, and that includes the world of sexuality. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own body, improve intimacy with a partner, or explore the science behind desire, there’s a book for you. We’ve compiled a list of the best books about sex, covering everything from fundamental education to advanced techniques and emotional connection. These titles, both classic and new, offer valuable insights from trusted experts.
This guide will walk you through essential reading for anyone curious about enhancing their sexual knowledge. We will explore books focused on foundational education, improving partner intimacy, understanding sexual health, and diving deep into the psychology of human sexuality.
Foundational Guides for Sexual Education
Understanding the basics is the first step toward a healthy and fulfilling sex life. These books provide clear, accurate, and shame-free information for all adults.
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
Why is this book essential? Because it dismantles the myths and anxieties many people, especially women, have about sex. Nagoski, a health educator with a Ph.D. in Health Behavior, explains the science of sexual arousal and desire in a way that is both empowering and easy to understand. She introduces the “dual control model,” which likens our sexual response system to a car’s accelerator and brakes.
Come As You Are is filled with practical advice, diagrams, and worksheets. It helps you understand your own unique sexual personality. The core message is that everyone is normal, and understanding your own wiring is the key to a confident and joyful sex life. It’s a must-read for anyone who has ever felt broken or wondered if they are “doing it right.”
The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides
Often called the “owner’s manual” for sex, this book is one of the most comprehensive and straightforward guides available. Now in its latest edition, The Guide to Getting It On covers nearly every topic imaginable, from anatomy and oral sex to kinks and communication. Its tone is humorous, direct, and incredibly informative.
What sets this book apart is its encyclopedic nature combined with an accessible, non-judgmental voice. It uses simple language and illustrations to explain complex topics, making it perfect for beginners and experienced individuals alike. It’s the kind of book you can keep on your nightstand and refer to whenever a question comes up.
Enhancing Intimacy in Relationships
Great sex is often about more than just physical acts; it’s about connection, communication, and emotional intimacy. These books help couples deepen their bond both in and out of the bedroom.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Esther Perel is a world-renowned couples therapist, and her work explores the delicate balance between security and passion in long-term relationships. Mating in Captivity tackles a common paradox: why does the comfort and love we build in a partnership sometimes dampen the erotic desire we once felt?
Perel argues that desire thrives on mystery, risk, and separateness, while modern relationships often prioritize togetherness and transparency. Through compelling stories from her therapy practice, she offers a fresh perspective on keeping the spark alive. This book is for anyone in a long-term relationship who wants to bring back the excitement and passion they once shared.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver
While not exclusively a sex book, Dr. Gottman’s work is crucial for understanding the foundation of a healthy sexual relationship: a strong partnership. Based on decades of research observing real couples, this book outlines seven key principles for a lasting, happy union.
Gottman explains that a satisfying sex life is a byproduct of a strong friendship, effective conflict management, and shared meaning. The book provides practical exercises to help couples build their “love maps,” express fondness and admiration, and turn toward each other instead of away. By strengthening the overall relationship, couples naturally create an environment where intimacy and sexual connection can flourish.
Understanding Sexual Health and Wellness
Sexual health is a vital part of overall well-being. These books provide evidence-based information to help you take care of your body and mind.
The Vagina Bible by Jen Gunter, MD
Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN, has made it her mission to debunk misinformation about women’s health. The Vagina Bible is a definitive, no-nonsense guide to the female reproductive system. From periods and puberty to STIs and menopause, Dr. Gunter provides factual, science-backed information.
This book empowers readers by arming them with knowledge. It addresses common myths peddled by wellness influencers and provides clear guidance on everything from hygiene to health concerns. If you have a vagina or love someone who does, this book is an indispensable resource for understanding how it works and how to keep it healthy.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases: A Physician’s Guide to Sexually Transmitted Infections by Dr. Lisa Marr
Knowledge is your best defense when it comes to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This guide by Dr. Lisa Marr offers a clear, concise, and medical perspective on the topic. It’s designed to be an accessible resource for the general public, not just medical professionals.
The book details different types of STIs, including their symptoms, transmission methods, and treatment options. More importantly, it provides extensive information on prevention, such as proper condom use and the importance of regular testing and open communication with partners. It’s a practical, judgment-free tool for anyone who is sexually active.
Exploring the Nuances of Human Sexuality
For those who want to go beyond the basics, these books delve into the psychology, culture, and diversity of human sexual expression.
The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton
A classic in the world of non-monogamy, The Ethical Slut is a guide to navigating polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. The book’s core principles—honesty, communication, and respect—are valuable for people in any relationship structure.
Now in its third edition, it has been updated to be more inclusive of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship styles. It covers everything from managing jealousy and navigating complex relationship dynamics to practical tips for time management and safer sex. Even if you’re happily monogamous, the communication skills and self-reflection exercises in this book are universally beneficial.
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach
Mary Roach is known for her witty and fascinating explorations of scientific topics, and Bonk is no exception. In this book, she turns her curious gaze to the science of sexual arousal and orgasm. She ventures into laboratories to observe research on everything from penile implants to the physiology of the female orgasm.
Roach’s humor and curiosity make what could be a dry subject incredibly entertaining. She interviews researchers, volunteers for studies, and uncovers the often bizarre history of sex research. Bonk is perfect for readers who are interested in the “how” and “why” of sex from a purely scientific, yet highly amusing, standpoint.
Conclusion
The journey to sexual self-discovery and fulfillment is a personal one, and books can be powerful guides along the way. Whether you need a comprehensive manual like The Guide to Getting It On, a scientific deep-dive like Come As You Are, or a relationship-focused text like Mating in Captivity, there is a wealth of knowledge available.
By investing time in reading and learning, you can build confidence, improve communication with partners, and foster a healthier, more joyful relationship with your own sexuality. Pick a book that speaks to you and start exploring.